13 Years

Everyone,

Today is the day I met Juice, 13 years ago tonight. I had planned on writing a big long entry about it, but apparently I already did that. You can check it out here. You can also see a fairly flattering picture of us on our first date...although I always hated the picture because I look a little vacant in it. I glanced away right as the photographer was taking the picture, and have always been sad about my wandering mind at that point. Still, Juice looks handsome and oh so young in those big glasses and huge smile on his face. You'd think he was pleased to be out with me. I know I was overjoyed to be out with him. Although really nervous since it was my very first date. And apparently had a wandering mind. Kind of like today. I still have my corsage he gave me somewhere in a shoebox at my parents house. (Seriously, you would not believe what kind of stuff I have at my parents house still. My room still looks like my room. My brother's room, however, was taken down rapidly after his move out and is now the very cluttered office of my mom. Although I have things in there too. I think I may have too much stuff.)

Well, since I've already done the day we met post about today, I suppose I can tell you about the picture and our first date. Here, I'll even move the picture up in case you want to stare at it dreamily like I have been for the past few minutes. Ahem... moving on.

This was the first weekend in October, 1996. I know, because this was 2 weeks after I turned 16. And since I was not allowed to date until I was 16 (a great rule, one I intend to inflict on all our kids), I was looking forward to this month for awhile. I don't exactly remember when Juice asked me (my journals would know but they are buried under a heavy box and I am under strict orders to not lift anything heavier than 15 lbs) but I do know how he asked me. In Utah, the big thing is to ask people out on dates in a fun cutesy sort of way. Instead of getting a nervous phone call from a boy, you'd get cookies in your yard spelling out the question. Something similar happened to my brother. I remember finding packing peanuts in my bed (filled to overflowing) with one of them having 'yes' written on one side. I asked a boy to a school dance and this is how he thanks me! :) Still, it was a fun tradition and then you could call your girlfriends over to help find the answer. A 'no' was mostly done in person.

So, about 2 weeks before the dance, I was sitting in my dad's office, supposedly doing homework (I think I was playing solitaire on the computer) and listening to Enya. I was alone in the house. My brother was at college, my dad at work, and my mom I think had run out to the store or was on her way home from work. I heard a small knock on my front door, and looked over my shoulder to see who it was. (You could see through the open office door to the front door with big open panels on either side so you could see right out. A fact that gave Juice a lot of pause as he walked up to my doorstep, question in hand, and could see me on the computer. He said he came back 2 different times to see if I had moved and decided to chance the drop. My parents' porch has about 8 steps up to it, and he didn't think that he could make it down those steps without me noticing since the steps were pretty much in plain sight too. So he parked he car around the corner, snuck up to the house, knocked, jumped over the porch railing to the side of the house, and sprinted up the street to his car. The 16 year old in me just gets thrills every time I think about it. Wasn't he cute?!)

On my porch, was a vase of flowers and a card. I knew it was him the minute I saw the name on the outside of the card. I knew his handwriting even then. I have no idea what the card said (again, in those buried journals) but I remember being highly annoyed that I was the only one home. Where was my mother when I needed her to squeal with me at the idea of going on my very first date?! I can't remember if I called friends to tell them, but I do remember being really anxious that my mom would come home. When she came home, she went straight to the phone (still does) and I had put the flowers right next to it. She guessed what it was right away and was appropriately happy at the aspect of me going to homecoming and my first date. Dress shopping ensued and we came up with this beautiful blue number in the picture.

And now, I have spent all day on this and will have to continue it later. To be continued....

Safire

PS- All is well with the boys, moving and shaking and happy as clams. Uterus, not so happy.

Hello Labor and Delivery

Everyone,

Sorry I haven't posted more but really, not quite sure what to say. I guess after the miscarriage, especially with how late the miscarriage was, I'm hesitant to say anything about the boys. I just don't want to loose them. And not talking about them is a way to keep them closer to me. Does that make sense? I'm not even sure if it does to me.

In any case, yesterday we had a bit of a scare. I had been having mild cramping for a few days. I just brushed it off as my uterus stretching and things moving around. And then, I had about 4 honest contractions. The kind that made me remember labor and think, "What did I get myself into?! How could I have forgotten this?!" I had these contractions one after the other on Wednesday night. I drank some water, went to bed, and felt fine. In the morning, I had another so I called my doctor. He sent me straight to the hospital.

I checked in, got all gowned up, and sat in labor and delivery triage for a few hours while they monitored my uterus. Both babies were great. Baby A doing his characteristic moving so they couldn't monitor his heartbeat. Baby B is mellow, but reacting to A's movements. But I was still having contractions. I was having 4 to 5 in an hour, which is not what they want to see. After they gave me 2 24 oz cups of ice water to drink, they did a fetal fibronectin test to see my risk of going into preterm labor in the next two weeks. That took 2 hours to come back, along with the loss of my blood in the lab and a redrawing to see if I had some kind of infection. The test came back negative, blood work came back normal, and the contractions had stopped. But my uterus is irritable and still acting up. Not contractions, just crabbiness.

I was sent home around 5:30, after spending 8 hours in a tiny bed listening to the other patients in triage and their issues. (Only 1 of the 5 ladies I shared a room with actually went to have her baby...never knew that triage had such a high send home rate.)

I was not sent home on bed rest, yet. Baby A is moving so so much that one of the nurses wondered if he was pushing an already crabby uterus to the edge. I also probably did not drink enough water through the holidays and that is not a good thing. So, I'm supposed to take it easy, drink 8 oz of water for every hour I'm awake, and call the doctor if I notice the contractions again. All things I can do. Except maybe the water. That's a lot of water!

Doctor follow up on Monday. Now I have to go lay down.

Safire

What to say...

Everyone,

I have a secret that I've been dying to tell. It's been months now and I have been very good to not even allude to it on here. I didn't want people who read this to guess and spill the beans before I was able to tell people in person (Hi Nana and Grandpa!). Well, I guess over the phone is as in person as I'm going to get these days. Kudos to people who knew who said nothing until I was ready. Thanks!

Sorry, I digress. It seems like because I've kept this secret for so long, I can't bring myself to talk about it. I had planned on writing and posting this yesterday, but I couldn't. I have put this mental block up so long that I am nervous for no reason about talking about it. Really, it's time to start talking about it. Better to say now than in a few months when the secret has to come out. Literally, this secret can be kept in for only so long. Look at the pictures and tell me what you think.

Did everyone notice the typing on the pictures too? No? Let me bring your attention to that as well. I know it's a little fuzzy. Take your time. I'll wait.

Yes, it's true. A and B. Doctors don't put that type of writing on ultrasounds unless there are 2 babies. So what kind of babies are in there you ask? Let me tell you what new big sister has been saying. Butterfly has been going around patting my stomach for a few days saying, "My budders, my budders." And true to boys, they spend a lot of their days kicking each other in the head. Or so they keep doing so on the many ultrasounds I've had.

I am 19 weeks, so almost half way. This pregnancy has been different. Rough. Not like Butterfly's pregnancy when I puked the entire time. But it has been fraught with spotting early, exhaustion, and food aversion. My doctor said that these babies are sponges and will take what they need from me with no regard to my body's needs. So they have been trying to help me eat anything at all. I have to take a small extra vitamin. I am a lot bigger (duh, 2 people!) and I am already feeling some of the normal 3rd trimester complaints with hateful heartburn and hip pain. I also hate maternity clothes. That's all I'm going to say about that.

So, everyone give a nice welcome to our new little boys, A and B. They have names, but nothing we're going to say on here in keeping with my rule of no names on the blog. They do actually have online names already (hard to pick out 2 nice names, let alone 2 more online names!) but I won't use them until they are born, since the A and B thing seems to be temporary. Where they are is also temporary. I am expecting their birth around early to mid-April. They are due on Butterfly's birthday but twins are always early.

Okay, I think I've caught you up on everything. It's nice to have this out in the open. Now that I've spilled the beans, I feel a little better. Not nervous any more. Well, not about saying anything. I am a little nervous to go from 1 to 3 and have 3 under 3 for awhile. But that's another post for another day.

Safire

Things I've been doing in Dec.

Everyone,

Instead of posting, I've been doing a lot of other things. Like sitting on the couch coughing up a lung. And feeling very miserable. And watching Juice and Butterfly play with a pounding headache. I went back to the doctor and got some more drugs and will hopefully kick Edwina's fat hiney out of my lungs.

We had our first snow fall of the year. Butterfly built a snowman. I found a ton of pictures on my second camera and was trying to go through them without feeling totally sick. My ipod died and I spent at least 2 days trying to get it to actually download stuff from itunes. I ended up resetting it and now it works fine. I did loose a few songs and one movie but not like I ever watched it. Feeling ill again so I will leave you with some pictures.

Safire

Not again!

Everyone,

We seem to be infected with Ed's little sister, Edwina. It's not as bad as Ed, but still bad. I am hacking up another lung and Butterfly is investing in some serious snot. She also has a fever this morning.

But yesterday...oh yesterday. She would not go to sleep for her nap. Normally I just let her cry it out since she goes to sleep a few minutes after crying. Not so yesterday. And she sounded funny. So I got her out of bed, took her downstairs with me and snuggled for a second on the couch. She is still sobbing a little and hiccoughing. She put her head on my shoulder, coughed really hard, and puked all down the front of my shirt. Which made her cry harder, and then cough harder, and then puke harder. Again all down the front of me. Great. All I'm thinking is it's a good thing she didn't puke on the couch or on the mail I have spread all over the couch. So as I'm trying to stand up without dropping the puke, she starts gaging again and coughed up a huge wad of phlegm. That seemed to be the turning point, and she only puked 2 more times (yes, both on me...what is with toddlers and puking on their parent?!) and started to feel a little better. After I cleaned myself up, her up, and snuggled her a little to make her feel better, Daddy came home and all was forgotten. On her part. I had had it. I went to bed at 5:30pm.

Of course, that meant I woke up at around 11pm when Juice came to bed and we sat up all night talking about the first time we met and deciding to get married, etc. But that's a post that's brewing for later. I will say that the end of this month will mark 13 years of knowing Juice for me, half my life.

Butterfly of course woke up super early today, refuses to eat anything, and I am feeling really groggy. We may have a day of movies ahead of us.

Safire

Done!

Everyone,

Ahh...the month of November is over and so that means that my need to post every single day is over. Although, here I am, posting again. I've found I really like writing every day. Plus, I had a motive with the prizes they offered. I probably won't get anything, but the idea of maybe getting something was enough for me to actually write. There are a few websites out there that are promoting posting every day in December as well, but they are not offering prizes and so, I will not be joining. I'm such a prize junky. :)

Today was a day of shopping. I realize now how much I hate living near a mall in December. The traffic is really bad around the house, and around all of our normal places like the grocery store. Nothing really fun was bought today, just a lot of groceries and more toilet paper because we are apparently out. I hate being out of toilet paper.

Although I did purchase Juice a very very cool Christmas present. Can't say now, but only a few days to wait. He will be very surprised and I hope very happy.

I'm missing the snow the rest of the country seems to be getting. Sometimes it's sad to live in the south.

Safire