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Friday, September 29, 2006



Here are a few pictures from the Renn Fest. We had SUCH a good time. I can't wait till next year! If you can't tell, Juice is the Dread Pirate Roberts from The Princess Bride. It was pirate day and all day long I kept hearing "Hey! The Dread Pirate Roberts! That's great!" It was really fun to have people know his costume. He's still missing a few key elements (the mask) but it's coming together. Sadly, I still have no garb to call my own. But doesn't Butterfly look so cute in her princess costume on her horse? We met the Queen of Scotland who made her cry and the Duke of Wellington who stopped her from crying by playing peekaboo. I think the most interesting garb I saw was someone who had turned their stroller into a pirate ship, complete with flag and a plank. We ate great Faire food (passed on the giant turkey legs this year, opted for German bratwurst which Juice said was very authentic) and wore Butterfly out! She slept great that night. Enjoy the pictures.


Wednesday, September 27, 2006



I have been sick the past couple of days. I've decided I can take a runny nose, but a hacking cough...no way. It's been icky. Luckily Butterfly doesn't have it and I hope she never gets it.

As the weather is turning colder and the leaves are starting to change, I decided it was time I updated Butterfly's shoes. She has never had a real pair of shoes. I bought her a pair of Robeez after she scraped up her toe to bad she took off part of her toe nail. She tolerated them. But then she grew to love them and started carrying them around above her head shouting "Shooo! Shooo!" with her face all scrunched up. She wore those Robeez so much they looked like this:

Notice the hole going through the entire toe. She loved those shoes so much we wore through them in 5 different places.

We then went camping with our ward. And it had been raining all weekend long. I couldn't bring myself to take my daughter out camping with wet grass, wet rain and wet dirt with these shoes. So I went to the shoe store and bought a pair of pink and white keds for $5. Score! She loves those shoes and I threw the above mentioned Robeez away.

But then I started lamenting the fact that the pink and white keds had laces. And I was in the market for shoes of my own so I just bought her these:

Aren't they lovely in all their cute purpleness? And they are so easy to get on and off! So easy, in fact, Butterfly walks right out of them. Bummer. So I think they may be a bit big, but I think they are so cute.

And doesn't she look like such a big girl with them on? I'm amazed at how much older she looks with shoes.

I have started babysitting a two girls in my ward two days a week. It's been good, and I go to their house that has an enormous back yard and tons of toys. Butterfly gets to play with the girls, we get out of the house, and their mom gets to go to school. Win/win. However, they have hardwood floors throughout their house and Butterfly didn't want to have her shoes on all the time. So I went back to the Robeez. These are great little house shoes. Not to mention gosh darn cute!
She wears them basically all day long and cries when you take them off of her. I only got them off for this picture because she found the pink and white keds and wanted them on. "Shoo! Shoo!"

Monday, September 25, 2006

Blog Carnival


I found this over at Stay At Home Motherdom and she is doing a contest. So I thought I would join in. If anyone else would like to join in, go here for the rules. I wrote this essay a few months ago just for myself and I think it's pretty good. Enjoy.

There has been some pain in my life. Some emotional pain. There was physical pain involved, but that was nothing compared to the gut wrenching hurt I had sometimes. And it's something I suffered alone. I never talked about it with anyone but Juice. Not even my parents knew until we were in the thick of it. And even then I don't think they realized what was going on. You see, Juice and I couldn't have a baby. (Yes yes, I know we have Butterfly now, but go with me here.)

I don't know if Juice and I can ever have a baby without some Herculean effort by a doctor. Okay, maybe not that much effort when it comes to infertility. But still, a third party is involved. Which I think is totally unfair. I think everyone who wants to have a baby should be able to. But my wishful thinking doesn't substitute the reality. I probably felt at my worst when we were living in Provo. We had been living there for about a year. Our neighbor came up to us and asked us if we were new. He had moved in 10 months ago, and was trying to meet everyone. Um, no, 10 months of living across the way from you. 10 months of going to church with you, of saying hello on trash day, of meeting in the stairwell.

"Oh! 10 months huh? That's enough time for a baby. Where is your baby?" I think he said it in jest but it was not funny. We had been trying for a baby for about a year at that point, and no money to spend on any sort of doctor and treatment. I was at a point in my life where I felt so stuck.

Fast forward about 2 years to Sept 10, 2004. It was just a few days before my 24th birthday. We had been seeing a doctor for about 8 months now, and we were running out of money. I had just had my last treatment for the year, and we were going to wait until spring to start up again. It would give us time to save our money for the heavy stuff. I was at work. The front desk called to tell me the good news. We were finally going to have a baby! I have never been so happy and so scared in my entire life.

I thought that this day would fix all of my infertile woes, but it didn't. It wasn't until a few weeks ago when a friend told me she was going to have a baby and I was truly happy for her. I wasn't sad for myself, I was just happy. Peaceful. Calm. It was that day that I really felt what joy was. And it's nothing huge or life shattering. It's quiet, peaceful and small. It's like a sprout just pushing up out of the soil. It's like a gentle breeze cooling your sweaty neck. It's a big puffy cloud that you know looks just like your profile (and man does it look good!). Happiness is found in big things, but I believe that you can only find joy in the small stuff.


Sunday, September 24, 2006

Big Changes


I have finished the biggest change this blog will probably go through. Due to a lot of internet searches for our names, I have changed them. I have also gone through and taken out anything that could really identify us, our town, last name etc. It just seemed like time. I am getting more hits for this blog daily and it was starting to make me nervous. So instead of shutting it down completely, I changed names. You'll catch on pretty quick who is who.

Yesterday we went to the Renn Faire. So much fun! If we lived closer, we would seriously be there every weekend. The only bad thing about it is the smoke. I wish they would make designated smoking areas here so I wouldn't have to worry about getting a cloud of smoke hit my face. Or even Butterfly's face. Juice and Butterfly dressed up and they looked so cute! I am still looking for garb to fit me, but I haven't found anything that hit me as me. I think I'm probably going to go for a chemise/surcoat look...but we'll have to see what I can find. The cloak I wanted last year is still there. In it's $500 glory. It's beautiful but not worth $500!

Butterfly went on her first horse ride there! It was so cute! There was another little boy in front of us who wouldn't get on, but Butterfly let me put her up there like that was so normal. And when we stopped, she was trying to get the horse to go. And she was reaching down and petting his neck (Champ was his name). I am SO happy she likes horses. I wish we could get both of us into horses.

I think I've caught a cold. Lucky me.

Until next time,

Friday, September 22, 2006

Sugar and Spice


It's amazing how things can turn on a dime with Butterfly. One minute she's sweet as can be, and the next, she is just awful. A few days ago, I had one of those mornings with her. Everything I did (or didn't do) brought her to tears. Laying on the floor sobbing dramatically type of tears. She had been up since 4:30am, and was just being a bear. I am still trying to wean her and I know that every time I drop a session, she has one really bad day. Well, this happened to be her bad day. She slept very little that afternoon for a nap (repair guys woke her up). It was so bad I had to have Juice come and help me out for a while. I couldn't take all the crying anymore!

Then, as I was leaving for mutual, I kissed Juice goodbye and she was in the backpack. She leaned over, looked at me and kind of puckered her lips. She then got a full round of kissing from me, giving kisses in return! Is there anything better?! It made the whole horrible day so worth it.

In other news, my blog has now been updated. You will notice the new blog roll on the left, along with some snazy new colors. :) I'm really enjoying blogger's updates and it has given me the things I want to do. Also, be on the look out for some bigger changes in the next few days (as soon as I can finish them).

Long over due pictures:

Thursday, September 14, 2006

One More Year


Yesterday was my birthday. It was a nice, quiet low key day. I've needed one of those for awhile. I took a nap all morning with Butterfly, went out to lunch with her and did a little shopping (the weather changed and she has no sleepers that fit her!). The shopping was nice. Butterfly was a really good girl and didn't cry at all. We played a little in the frog land they have in the center of our mall. (More about that later.) She even split a sticky bun with me...okay I ate 80% of it. Still, it was really nice just to hang out with her. I look forward to many more Mommy/Daughter outings in the future.

When Juice came home, we had cake before dinner, and then I ran to my church meeting. I am in charge of the 12-13 year old girls in my church now, and they have meetings every Wednesday nights. Last night was singing lessons. Pretty fun but I think I should have stayed home. One highlight of the evening was that the singing teacher had us stretch out before we sang and asked us to touch our toes. I DID!!! I'm so proud of myself for being able to touch my toes. I don't think I could do that when I was little. I guess all that time at the YMCA is paying off.

Thanks to all my family who kept me up until 10pm wishing me a happy birthday. :) (Love ya bro.)

It was a good day. And yes, this year I feel older. It's weird.

So, about frog land in our mall. I swear, Butterfly gets hurt every single time we go there. I don't know why I continue to subject her to torcher, other than it's an free indoor playground and super close to my house. With all this rain we're getting and the weather turning, I suspect I'll be using it more and more.

Anyway, yesterday's owie was purely an accident. Butterfly was running behind another little kid who decided mid-stride to change directions and go the other way. They smacked head on and both fell down. Crying ensued, and Butterfly wouldn't let me out of her sight the rest of the time. I think it was a flash back from what happened the other time we were there.

It's been about 3 weeks since this happened and I didn't blog about it before because I was so angry. We were at Frog Land with my mom's group, and Butterfly and I were walking behind another girl and her mom in our group. Things were going well. Frog Land was PACKED. Another mom and her child (I actually think that she was a nanny of some kind) walked passed going the other way. This little girl reached out and slapped Butterfly. Hard. I could see Slapping Girl's hand print on my sweet baby's face. Poor Butterfly was stunned (so was I) and then she started to cry. I wanted to cry to and turned on the Nanny. She was mortified. She told me she was sorry over and over again, but I told her this was not okay. Slapping Girl must have been 5 or 6, old enough to know better. Nanny turned to her, and started signing that she was angry and not to hit little kids, etc. Slapping Girl is deaf. But really that is no excuse for her reaching out to hit my child. I made Nanny aware of this and she explained that Slapping Girl is handicapped. It doesn't matter. If she can't be trusted to be around other kids, then she shouldn't be there at all. Especially if it means that MY child has to bear the brunt of her acting out. Not cool.

Until next time,

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Hawai'i 2006


At long last, I finally have a moment to write about Hawai'i! We had a wonderful time. Let's start at the beginning.

We happened to fly out on the morning they decided that you couldn't take liquid onto the airplane. We left our house at 4am, and didn't hear anything about it until we got to security. I had ALL of my cosmetics and hair stuff in my carry on because I am always so afraid of loosing it if my luggage happens to get lost. I probably had 200 dollars worth of stuff, because I had just bought new things to last me through 3 weeks. Everyone was dumping everything into big bins right before the metal detectors. I couldn't do it. If they made me dump it, I would. But just doing it on my own was something I couldn't do. The diaper bag went through first. A tube of diaper cream set them off. The TSA worker pulled it out, and started calling for a manager. (By the way, they made us dump Butterfly's water so she is howling in my arms while they are trying to figure out what to do with us.) Since we were probably some of the first flights to go through with this new ban, no one knew what to do. In the mean time, my bag with all my stuff slid through. No one stopped it. I gladly dumped the diaper rash cream and we quickly walked away. This doesn't make me a felon, does it?

Right before I got on the plane I called my mom (sorry for waking you up Mom) so they could all repack before they left.

Butterfly was a total gem on the airplane. We were in first class all the way (thanks again Dad!) so she had a very nice breakfast, lots of milk, and slept a lot of the way. She latched onto this toy bunny I had bought her and kept trying to feed it cherrios. So cute!

It was really great to meet up with my parents during our lay over, and let Butterfly get out and walk around. Again, a really good flight with her, although she was getting very restless towards the end. We walked that plane a lot, and smiled at everyone as we went by.

When we got to Hawaii and got our stuff, we were brave and stuffed ourselves into the car. There were 7 of us and probably 10 bags. That was funny, although we may have permanitly damaged my brother's leg nerve in the process. Hotel check in was easy and we had a stunning view! We tried to get Butterfly to nap but that was a no go so we made our way out for dinner.

This is where Butterfly broke down. She was finally done. We went back to the hotel, put her down at around 7:30pm Hawaii time and went to bed ourselves. She slept through the night and that was all I had to do to get her onto Hawaii time.

We went to the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC), but first stopped off at the Hawaii Laie Temple and walked around the grounds. Note to self, do not watch sappy feel good movies while nursing. Way too many water works. The temple is beautiful, calm and peaceful.

Our time at the PCC was good, although it started off roughly. We had a guide whose pace was a little too fast for us. Juice, Butterfly and I broke off from the group and things were much better. If we needed to change a diaper, we could! If Butterfly needed to nurse, we could! The PCC is divided up into the 7 major Polynesian cultures, Samoa, Tonga, Fiji, Hawaii, Tahiti, Marqusas, and New Zealand. In Samoa, we saw a really funny guy talk to us about how they start fire and saw him climb a palm tree. In New Zealand, we learned how to use poi balls and did the stick games. We spent most of our time in Tonga where Juice learned to throw a spear and we made animals out of palm leaves. Juice had a great time with that, and taught the girls there how to make a few different animals. Butterfly moved rocks from one place to the next and was happy.

After visiting all the islands, we were able to have a luau. Butterfly crashed before she even ate anything. We lost my brother at this point and were constantly on the look out for him. After the luau (with bright purple rolls!) we went to the show. We had perfect seats, 2nd row back front center. They did native dances from each of the islands and also some fire dances. I really liked the bit they did with 3 guys trying to put out a fire with their heavy grass skirts. It was great. Butterfly slept through all but 20 minutes of it and woke up to the drums. She danced and clapped the rest of the time. We finally caught up with my brother after the show, and headed back to the hotel.

The next day we planned to spend at the Sea Life Park. Here, Andrew (my brother), Angela (my sister in law) and I swam with sting rays and with the dophins. This was an awesome experience! It had been something I wanted to do since I was little and wanted to be a marine biologist. I can't remember my dolphin's name (Andrew do you?) but she had freckles and was pregnant! The baby was moving so we could feel it through her belly. That was awesome.

Juice, Andrew, and Angela got to feed the sea lions as well. I got horribly burned on my shoulder here. Silly me I forgot to re apply sunscreen.

The next day we got on our cruise ship. The rooms were small, and we had to call and remind them to give us a crib. As a whole, NCL was okay but not great. I won't cruise with them again. We had to attend a mandatory safety muster which Butterfly had a really hard time with. She had to be held the whole time, and it was hot and long. The food was okay, but not spectacular. We ate in the main restaurant a few times but it was so hard with Butterfly to have to wait for food. And I didn't think the waitressing staff was very friendly towards her. We mostly ate at the buffet. Our last day there we ate in another restaurant which had really funny waiters and that was a good experience.

That first full day on the boat we just hung out. I believe Juice and Butterfly went swimming (salt water pool) and we went to Walmart. We were in Kauai and they have wild chickens there. Apparently, there was a big flood a few months ago which left the whole island without power for 4 months (can you believe that?!) and people lost chickens they used for food and cock fighting. So now the island is covered in these wild chickens. This is the island that they film most of the movies on. So they have a lot of things that are not native. For example, someone brought peacocks over for a movie and a few of them got out so now they have peacocks.

We went on the Waimea River Cruise. We were supposed to be able to see the Fern Grotto but it had been damaged in the rains and was being repaired. We went to a botanical garden instead. It was very low key and pretty.

Andrew, Angela, Juice, and I were able to go on a double date and celebrate our anniversaries. (Theirs is a week after ours.) They also had a kid's crew place on the boat that we were able to take Butterfly in a few times and let her play with toys. She loved to climb through the tunnels.

We sailed to the Big Island and rented a car and drove to see Volcano National Park. This was very interesting! I loved to see the steam coming up from big gashes in the ground. We also stopped to see the lava tube, which looks like a big cave. As we sailed around the point of the Big Island that night, you could see the lava flowing out to the sea. I stayed in the room to watch Butterfly since I had already seen it once the first time I went to Hawaii. We didn't get any good pictures but Juice said it was cool.

In Kona on the other side of the Big Island, we had a beach day. My mom came with us and we just hung out on the beach. They had kayacks, paddle boats, snorkel gear and a glass bottom boat for us to use. It was the best day of the whole trip. Juice snorkeled for about 3 hours, and we had lunch and rode the glass bottom boat. We saw a turtle and an eel and a lot of fish. I am amazed at how clear the water is! I got a turn snorkeling and Juice and I went out on a kayack. Butterfly was a major mamma's girl that day and didn't care for the water. But we had a blast. If I go back to Hawaii again, I am staying in the Marriott that was right on this beach.

On Maui, we went to Laihana which is a tiny shopping town. They had a strong missionary settlement there and we were able to see one of the houses. It was here that I also bought my new strand of dark pearls! Also, my parents picked out an oyster and got 2 black pearls in one! So they picked another one and got 2 pink pearls!! The lady was so surprised since she has never seen people get 4 pearls in 2 picks. I wish we could have stayed longer in Laihana.

We also went to see the sunrise at Haleakala Crater. It was amazing. We were up above the clouds, and really stunning. I don't think I've seen a prettier sunrise. Butterfly was not pleased with this day since we pulled her out at 3 in the morning. Also, our bus driver droned on and on about everything. On the way up, he kept saying "You can't see it right now but..." We were all tired and wished he would have shut up! But it was worth it. Very beautiful.

This day Dad and Andrew also tried to surf. The guys to teach them to surf were really late, and kept hitting on the girl that went with them. A surf board also hit my dad in the knee and he was hurting pretty bad. But after a night's rest and icing, he was doing better.

We sailed back to Oahu and our flight wasn't until 10pm that night. We decided to go to Pearl Harbor. I didn't realize that we had to wait 2 hours for a chance to go out to the USS Arizona. I felt like this day was all waiting and no fun. Pearl Harbor was interesting but tough with a toddler. And then we went back to wait for the bus to the airport. And we waited, and waited, and waited. We wandered around the shops by the pier and had lunch at Don Ho's restaurant but it was a day of waiting. Finally, when we got to the airport, we waited some more. Butterfly was all over the place, and screamed a lot. When she finally went to sleep, she woke up when we got in the plane. It was an all nighter to Salt Lake and I held her the whole time. The best part about the flight was taking off and seeing the lights of Honolulu below us. It looked like lava flowing into the ocean. Very beautiful.

Juice left us in Salt Lake, and continued back to MD. More about our Utah trip later. Juice said that when he got back to Maryland that he noticed how bad it smelled here. Compaired to Hawaii with all it's beautiful flowers and sea air...it does smell worse here!

So since I took over 500 pictures, I picked out the best ones and put them in a little video for you to see. Enjoy!

Until next time,

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Today sucks.


We have entered into the month of suckiness, or non-suckiness should I say. I am weaning Butterfly. I totally hate it. She screamed for HOURS this morning. The only time she wasn't miserable was when we went for a walk in the rain (no shoes but at least a coat!). I was pretty miserable getting wet though. I hope this gets easier. A friend in my mom's group says that her little girl has been weaned for 6 weeks and still asks for it. Ugh...

I can't figure out why my blog has suddenly changed and you have to scroll all the way down to see the posts. I have not changed a thing. Stupid computer stuff!

In other news, we got maybe an inch of rain with Ernesto. No biggie.

Yesterday we went to our good friends' house for a Labor Day bbq. It was nice, quiet and Butterfly had as much room to run around as she could walk. Also cats to harass, and frizbees to chase. The dog loved it for those reasons too!

Also yesterday, we went to a dairy and helped feed the baby calves. SO CUTE! One was licking Butterfly's leg and she was in gales of laughter. We are thinking of having our milk delivered to us through the dairy. We bought a bottle while we were there and Butterfly drank about half of it, when it's a struggle to get her to drink milk at all. The cost is the same. So we may soon be eating farm fresh goodness like milk, eggs, chicken, beef, pork, fresh ice cream, butter, cream cheese, etc. I'll let you know how it goes.

We also got a new computer desk for our downstairs computer. I think Juice finally got fed up with the tin can approach. I don't know if I have any pictures of the old one. I'll have to see.

I have finally gone through all of the Hawaii pictures so be on the look out for a post about it soon.

Until next time,

Friday, September 01, 2006

Tropical Storm Ernesto


One of the joys of living on the east coast is these great storms and hurricanes that occasionally go through our area. (You know I'm being sarcastic right? Good, we'll go on.) Right now I am looking out of our front room window and watching the rain come down. It's been a pretty steady rain since last night, as Tropical Storm Ernesto moves through.

Is it just me, or is everyone freaking out about this a little too much? I mean, they've talked about evacuating for this storm. Yes, evacuating us! For a tropical storm! Not even a hurricane! Can you tell I'm surprised! It seems crazy to evacuate when Ernesto came on land in South Carolina and came on land as a tropical storm. Yes, I know that this used to be a hurricane, but I wonder if everyone is just being really sensitive since Katrina. Katrina was a horrible thing, but it was also a category 5 hurricane.

We haven't done much to prepare. Juice's work sand bagged the front entrance because it's low lying. We are ready for any power outages we may have. We have plenty of food and water and ways to cook it should we be without power for days.

We're ready for you Ernesto! Rain on us all you want!