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Wednesday, May 05, 2010



At the park yesterday there was a pair of toddlers wearing matching shirts. I went hunting down their mom because here was another twin mommy! I first approached her friend (who was watching a toddler of her own on the slide) who pointed me in the direction of their mom. Their mom was sitting on the side with her iphone out. The friend informed me that the twins and her boy were 21 months old. Twin Mommy had brought their nanny along to the park. When I saw Twin Mommy again (kids pulled me away), she was on the playground talking. After saying hello and pointing out my boys, I made some kind of light hearted joke about how fun it was to be at the park with twins. (Being slightly sarcastic, of course. Being at the park with twins is tough work.)

She looked at me over her sunglasses and made this noise in her throat. Then she said, "Well I have help." She walked away from me pulling out her phone. My mouth hanging open.

I'm not sure why I was shocked. I mean, I had seen them there with their nanny. She probably had a job and was taking time out of working to spend time at the park with her sons. I just don't know why she didn't spend that time WITH her sons and let the nanny do all the work.

Yes having twins is hard work. Yes going to the park with them at this age gives me a huge headache. Yes I've watched them climb up ladders and get stuck. I've had to climb into small slides to rescue them. I'm frequently running across the park to save someone from certain death. I think I end up being more tired than they are after a park trip.

But I don't get it when people aren't mentally checked in to their kids. Is it too hard to put the phone away for an hour and be with them? She missed her boys waving at my boys and a super cute twin moment. I hope she doesn't miss other things.

I am grateful to her, however. This reminded me to be more checked in with my own kids. I watched Pirate sit quietly and watch the older boys playing with their back hoe toys and nicely ask to play. I watched them welcome him in and his face light up. I watched Professor climb all the way to the top of the play structure and look back at me and say, "Hi Mommy! Look me!" I watched Butterfly learning to make new friends by telling them, "Hi, I'm 4! I'm Butterfly! Want to play?" and how much fun she had ordering these kids around (the little empress). I listened as she proudly said that she had 2 brothers the exact same age and the happy glow she got when the kids were suitably awed. I watched Professor wave good bye to everything...tree, slide, tunnel, flowers, grass, port-a-potty, etc. I watched Pirate's little legs pumping as fast as they would let him go to try and catch up to the big kids.

They sure are amazing. I am so lucky.



  1. You learned a good lesson there, Sweets! You already knew, of course. It was just reinforced. We are so looking forward to you coming. The window wells are covered and the yard is coming into shape. There are a ton of kids in the neighborhood and hopefully there is plenty to keep them occupied.


  2. Wow. She must have had kids cause they were trendy that year. What a great reminder to enjoy your kids and be present in every moment. It gets hard to sometimes but it's the little moments that are the greatest joy. Too bad not every parent gets that.

  3. Totally important lesson! It's kind of sad, but a good reminder!

  4. From the moment you started your story I knew how it was going to turn out. I've had that happen to me so many times it's ridiculous. I like Kelly's comment about it being "trendy that year" - I've often had the same thought myself. I agree about chasing them around and always having to save someone from something - and my girls are 4!

  5. Anonymous12:00 PM

    Another aspect, she might have been one of those snooty types and was putting on in front of you! Like, I am so high and mighty and why are "you" talking to me. NOT that you are less than her, NO WAY!! I get a ton of that. I agree, if she wants to work fine, but she should have just stayed home if she wasn't going to interact.

    Leslie B.

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