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Sunday, March 07, 2010

QOTW: Divorce and Multiples

Everyone,

The question this week is about divorce and multiples.



Do you think parents of multiples are more likely to become divorced? Why or why not?

Honestly, I DON'T think that parents of multiples are more likely to become divorced. Why? Because in any marriage, the key to success is to work towards a common good. And when you have multiples, you have a chance to work towards a common good. Like survival.

  • What aspect of parenting multiples have you found to be the most difficult as it pertains to maintaining a relationship?
For me, it has been a lot of loss of self. There has been a lot that I've given up on to have and raise the kids. I am waiting for that self to come back, eventually. Juice said that one of the difficult things for him was to realize that I was not mad at him. I was (am) tired a lot. I'm cranky because I've been running full tilt all day. But I'm not mad at him. It took him awhile to realize that.
  • How do you maintain a healthy marriage/relationship?
We go grocery shopping shopping together almost every week. This is advice was given to us on the day we got married by the man who married us. It also means that we take all the kids shopping with us. I think this once a week outing forces us to be together as a family. We also have a babysitting trade with one of our friends. I watch their kids once a month, and they watch ours once a month. That way we at least have some kind of kid free time once a month. It's great!
  • If you were to give one piece of advice to a couple who just found out they were pregnant with multiples on how to stay happy together, what would it be?
It's going to be stressful. It's going to be rough. Things are going to get ugly. If not with the kids, with each other some times. Forgive each other. Forgive each other often and freely.
This study says that 95% of parents of multiples stay together. Honestly, I think this is true. Or maybe I want it to be true. I think that parents of multiples stay together because they have to work together.

Safire

4 comments:

  1. "Work towards a common good - like survival."
    I'm laughing so hard!

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  2. Forgiveness is sooo important! You are absolutely right - we wouldn't make it if we didn't do that almost daily! :)

    I like the survival comment, too. So far we've been in survival mode for the last 6 months!

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  3. >not mad at Juice
    I LOL'd...again and again. Ditto that.

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  4. Robert10:46 AM

    When me and my wife separated through divorce, we had no choice but to settle arrangements when it comes to co-parenting. We have 2 young kids and we don't want them to suffer just because we needed to part ways. So me and my ex-wife are working hand in hand to take care of the kids. My wife also bought co-parenting planner/organizer from http://4help.to/parenting which really is of big help in this process. Hopefully we'll get things flowing smoothly as planned. Thanks for sharing this! :)

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I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. --Helen Keller